Glorious warriors of the Klingon empire! Yesterday a joint force from the IKS pongHa’lu’ and Outpost Battlespear won a decisive victory at the Valparaiso Library Comic Con, also known as V-POP!
A librarian from Valparaiso Library called for warriors to attend V-POP in uniform, and IXL Captain yIH’a’na’ of the pongHa’lu’ and LTJG K’Rad tai-Makura, LCPL Garth Makura, and LTJG parmaq’jiH tai-Makura of Battlespear journeyed to the far corner of Indiana to join the battle! With K’Rad’s armaments – as per our truce with the library, we did not bring metal weaponry – we secured the upstairs hallway and established an outpost at our table. When a stormtrooper, a snowtrooper, and a TIE fighter pilot from the 501st Legion later arrived, they were unable to capture this territory for their Empire, as we had already claimed it for ours. They therefore made friendly conversation with us.
As you can see in the pictures, K’Rad also engaged in battle with Captain America, a Terran champion. We also met some sort of pest control person who rids buildings of energy creatures and calls himself a “ghostbuster”.
Awed by our magnificence, the librarians asked us to enter the costume contest. We did not know that there would be such a competition – but we never shrink from a challenge! And in fact our team won the Adult division of the costume contest, defeating the great and girly warriors the Sailor Scouts, as well as a hedgehog by the name of Sonic, on whom we dined. The 501st Legion members and the Ghostbuster were apparently too intimidated to battle against us. The spoils of battle proved to be a gift certificate for Galactic Greg’s, which we will spend on armaments
yIH’a’na’ had hoped our platoon would conquer Anderson’s Vineyard and Winery as well, but the other warriors had to return to keep Outpost Battlespear manned, and thus she entered the field of vinicultural combat alone. A well-informed woman who was already tasting wine quickly set her companions straight, announcing “She’s not a Martian, she’s from Star Trek!”
Once the humans present were assured that they were not experiencing ethanol-induced delusions, the winemaker himself, who had never seen an Andorian before, came out to talk. I would like to report that although there was no bloodwine available, the bottle that I acquired was very good, and I hope someday to share it with the honorable warriors that are sometimes guests in my home.
However, my comrades, I have troubling news as well.
Many Terrans at the library asked who we were – they did not recognize Klingons! We Andorians are used to such treatment on this planet – Earth is not Vulcan, where the locals are well aware of us – but it is troubling that so many people are unaware of the history between humans and Klingons, even if that history has not happened yet.
As a result of this regrettable ignorance, many Terran children were frightened of us, while the adults were not. My fellow warriors, this is backwards! Terran children are harmless and therefore we would never attack them. Terran adults, however, are worthy opponents – or at least can aspire to be – and should be terrified of us!
Clearly strategic action is needed. I suggest that we conquer an area such as Hollywood or Bollywood and produce films and television shows depicting Klingon military victories so that the human race will be better informed concerning our prowess. Their fear will lead them to train for battle, thus providing us with a more glorious victory when war is declared.
Update: The NWI Times interviewed us for their coverage of the con, and even ran a picture!
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